COMPOSITION STUDIES BY DIANE K. OLSON, PHD, WRITING, TEACHING AND CRITICISM

IT'S A LOVE STORY, FOLKS -- AN AMAZING LOVE STORY -- BETWEEN ME AND JESUS -- THE REAL, CONTEMPORARY DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN, WHO WAS REBORN ON THIS EARTH, AS A BABY, ON DECEMBER 25th, 1969 JUST SOUTH OF RED OAK, IOWA -- GOD'S COUNTRY AND HOLY TERRITORY -- TO HIS DAD, A CARPENTER/ARCHITECT, JOSEPH NIELSEN AND HIS MOM, AN ARTIST, MARY NIELSEN. GOD ALMIGHTY OUR HEAVENLY FATHER CHOSE THE EXACT TIME AND PLACE OF JESUS' REBIRTH, AS HE HAS PROFESSED, JUST LIKE GOD ALMIGHTY OUR HEAVENLY FATHER HAS ALSO PROFESSED TO CHOOSING THE EXACT TIME AND PLACE OF MY BIRTH, EXACTLY FOUR MONTHS LATER, IN APRIL OF 1970, ALSO SOUTH OF RED OAK, IOWA.   AMAZINGLY ENOUGH AND AS DIFFICULT AS IT IS TO CONCEPTUALIZE -- BUT NONETHELESS IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE -- GOD ALMIGHTY HAS KEPT DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN INVISIBLE AND UNDETECTABLE TO EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR A SELECT GROUP OF FAMILY, FRIENDS AND TEACHERS AND ACQUAINTANCES, AND JESUS HAS BEEN AWARE OF IT SINCE HE WAS A CHILD.  SINCE CHILDHOOD, HE HAS MAINTAINED A VERY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP, THROUGH PRAYER, WITH OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, WHO HAS INSTRUCTED HIM AND REVEALED TO HIM, HIS MISSION AND PLANS FOR HIS LIFE AND THE KINGDOM TO COME AND GIVEN HIM MIRACULOUS HEALING POWERS.   WE ARE LUTHERANS, FOLKS, ME AND JESUS, AND WE WERE BOTH BAPTIZED AND CONFIRMED IN THE LUTHERAN CHURCH AS BABIES AND TEENAGERS.  JUST LIKE JOHN THE BAPTIST BAPTIZED JESUS WHEN HE FIRST WALKED THE EARTH DURING THE GOSPELS, JESUS -- THE REAL, CONTEMPORARY JESUS, WAS ALSO BAPTIZED AS A BABY IN 1969 AND THEN CONFIRMED IN 1984.  SEE, FOLKS, OUR GOD-- GOD ALMIGHTY HIMSELF -- LIKES TO START SMALL AND HUMBLE AND MODESTLY IN SMALL, SLEEPY TOWNS NESTLED AWAY, LIKE BETHLEHEM/NAZARETH, ISRAEL AND RED OAK, IOWA.  IT'S A LONG, AMAZING LOVE STORY, FOLKS, WHICH I AND JESUS WILL FILL IN THE DETAILS TO AT A LATER DATE WHEN I AM LESS TIRED,  SO I WILL SKIP TO THE PART ABOUT DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN PROFESSING TO HAVING HAD THE HUGEST CRUSH ON ME SINCE KINDERGARTEN, WHEN I WAS IN THE MORNING KINDERGARTEN AT OUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AND HE WAS IN THE AFTERNOON KINDERGARTEN, AND ON THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND EVEN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, WHEN HE WAS,  EVERY SO WILLINGLY, JESUS EXPLAINS,  COMMISSIONED BY GOD ALMIGHTY TO TRAIL ME THROUGH UNIVERSITY AT DRAKE AND TRAIL ME THROUGH GRADUATE SCHOOL AT ILLINOIS, CHAMPAIGN-URBANA AND ALBANY, NEW YORK AND TRAIL ME TO A TEACHING FELLOWSHIP AT GEORGIA TECH IN ATLANTA AND ALL ALONG, TEACHING UNIVERSITY COURSES JUST LIKE I WAS TEACHING UNIVERSITY COURSES AT ALL OF THESE UNIVERSITIES.   SEE, FOLKS, TO ME, DR. DIANE K. OLSON, JESUS IS NOT ONLY A LORD AND SAVIOR AND A BEST FRIEND, MOST OF ALL, HE IS A GUY -- ALL OF YOU RELIGIOUS FOLKS OUT THERE DE-HUMANIZE AND DE-EMOTIONALIZE JESUS AND YOUR PAINTINGS OF HIM ARE TOTALLY MESSED-UP BECAUSE HE IS CLEAN-CUT (WITH NO BEARD, FOLKS), SHORT DARK CURLY HAIR, CLEAR BLUE EYES AND SIX FOOT TALL AND YES, HE WEARS HOLY DUDS, AS HE LIKES TO CALL THEM, BUT HE ALSO DRESSES IN CONTEMPORARY CLOTHES, AS WELL.   ANYWAY, HE IS A GUY WHO CONSTANTLY PROFESSES TO BEING HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH ME AND WRITES ON MY BLOGS THAT HE IS MY "HUSBAND"  AND DEFENDS AND RIGHTEOUSLY ADVOCATES FOR ME AS MY HUSBAND ON MY BLOGS -- AFTER, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, HE BEGAN APPEARING AND TAKING CARE OF ME IN 2014 IN MY APARTMENT -- EVER SO CHASTELY, I WOULD ADD. I WOULD SEE HIM STANDING BY THE SLIDING GLASS WINDOW IN THE EARLY TO LATE AFTERNOONS IN HIS HOLY DUDS AND WHEN I WAS CURLED UP IN THE RECLINER, HE WOULD GENTLY ROCK IT BACK AND FORTH, AND HE WOULD POUR ME GLASSES OF WATER IN THE KITCHEN AND HE WOULD HOLD MY HAND WHEN I WAS HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS ON MY CELLPHONE, AND I WOULD TELL MY PRAYER PARTNER, A LUTHERAN MINISTER AT LUTHERAN CHURCH OF HOPE, NON-CHALANTLY, ALL OF THE THINGS THAT JESUS WAS DOING FOR ME AND THAT JESUS WAS TAKING CARE OF ME, EVEN THOUGH I COULDN'T QUITE SEE HIM YET, EXCEPT FROM EARLY TO LATE AFTERNOONS, AND SHE WOULD AGREE WITH ME, THAT, YES, IT WAS JESUS HIMSELF.  BUT I STILL THOUGHT OF HIM AS A LORD WHO CAME AND WENT FROM MY APARTMENT AND WAS NOT YET FULLY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT HE WAS ACTUALLY, EVER SO CHASTELY, RESIDING WITH ME ALL OF THE TIME AND SLEEPING WITH ME, EVER SO CHASTELY, IN THE SAME BED-- EVEN THOUGH, IN RETROSPECT, THERE WERE VISIBLE AND TANGIBLE SIGNS THAT HE WAS.  (THERE WAS ALSO MANY TIMES THAT VERY POWERFUL THUNDERSTORMS WOULD ROLE ACROSS THE PLAINS/FIELDS OF WDM, IOWA AT MY APARTMENT, AND THERE WAS OFTEN BEAUTIFUL GLORY IN THE SKY ON MANY SPRING/SUMMER MORNINGS,  AND I WOULD WRITE ABOUT HOW IT WAS JESUS ON MY BLOGS.)  I WAS NOT YET FULLY AWARE OF THAT FACT -- THAT JESUS WAS RESIDING WITH ME -- UNTIL DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN STARTED MAKING SOME SERIOUS AND GENTLE AND KIND-HEARTED MOVES ON ME IN JANUARY OF 2018, WHEN HE STARTED FADING INTO VIEW AND APPEARING MORE CONCRETELY AND AUDIBLY TALKING TO ME ABOUT MY TEACHING AND MY WORK IN FEMINIST THEORY, AS HE DID ON JANUARY 18th, 2018, WHEN I SAW HIM WALK UP THE STAIRS AND HE STARTED TALKING TO ME WHILE I WAS LISTENING TO THE SONG "VOICE OF TRUTH" BY CASTING CROWNS ON YOUTUBE.    FROM THEN ON, HE COURTED ME, EVEN THOUGH NOONE ELSE COULD SEE HIM, AND WE TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED AND ONE NIGHT IN LATE JANUARY, HE -- JESUS--  GAVE ME A VISION, EVER SO CHASTELY FROM BED,  OF ME SITTING AT THE COMPUTER WITH HIM, COLLABORATING ON REWRITING THE HOLY, HEART-FELT BIBLE, WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT GOD ALMIGHTY PLACED ON MY HEART IN DECEMBER OF 2017 AND I WAS TAKING NOTES ON BEFORE JANUARY AND INTO JANUARY OF 2018 AND JESUS AND ME PASSIONATELY KISSING -- WHICH WE DID DO, VERY SOON AFTER -- ANYWAY, TO MAKE A VERY LONG STORY SHORT, ON FEBRUARY 15th, 2018, DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN PROPOSED TO ME AND WHICH I IMMEDIATELY AND EXUBERANTLY ACCEPTED AND THAT SAME EVENING, GOD ALMIGHTY HIMSELF, WHO ACCORDING TO THE LUTHERAN FAITH THAT WE BELONG TO, IS BOTH OUR ALMIGHTY CREATOR AND A HUMAN BEING HIMSELF WHO MADE US -- ALL OF CREATION -- IN HIS IMAGE, APPEARED IN OUR APARTMENT AND READ US OUR MARRIAGE VOWS AND UNITED US IN HOLY MATRIMONY.   I STILL DON'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED ALTHOUGH IT REALLY DID HAPPEN AND I KNOW THAT IT SOUNDS UNBELIEVABLE AND CRAZY YET IT IS VERY AND ABSOLUTELY TRUE, I SWEAR ON THE HOLY, HEART-FELT BIBLE.  DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN IS VISIBLE TO ME AND ADORES UPON ME ALL OF THE TIME AND TAKES CARE OF ME ALL OF THE TIME, AS A HUSBAND, YET IS NOT YET VISIBLE TO OTHER PEOPLE ON PLANET EARTH AND TO THE PEOPLE AROUND ME, FOR GOOD AND VALID REASONS THAT ONLY GOD ALMIGHTY HIMSELF HAS EXPLAINED TO US.   GOD ALMIGHTY'S WAYS AND METHODS WITH THIS INVISIBLE THING ARE LARGER AND MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN WE CAN POSSIBLY COMPREHEND.   THE ONE REASON THAT  GOD HAS GIVEN US THAT WE UNDERSTAND THE MOST IS THAT JESUS C. NIELSEN HAS HAD TO ACCOMPANY ME INTO SOME VERY DIFFICULT AND AWFUL SITUATIONS, AS MY PROTECTOR AND BODY GUARD,  AND IF HE WAS VISIBLE TO THESE PEOPLE, HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT.  ANYWAY, THAT IS ALL THAT I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW, AND YOU HAVE TO KNOW, FOLKS, THAT IT IS JESUS HIMSELF THAT PUTS THIS "HUSBAND" THING INTO ALL OF MY BLOG POSTS  AFTER I HAVE WRITTEN THEM EVEN THOUGH I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS TO PEOPLE WHO CANNOT FATHOM THE REALITY OF THE MATRIMONY AND THINK THAT IT IS CRAZY TO SAY SUCH A THING.  YET HE IS GAGA ABOUT BEING MY HUSBAND AND ABOUT BEING A DADDY AND JUST WANTS TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE WHERE WE GO OUT AND SHARE THE TRUTHS OF THE GOSPELS AND TEACH AND MINISTER AND HEAL AFFLICTIONS AND STAY AT HOME AT TIMES AND GO OUT ON DATES AND WRITE BOOKS AND CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN, WHICH WE CANNOT TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE GO AFTER BABIES VICIOUSLY  -- THAT IS HOW INHUMANE THEY ARE -- AND IT IS A TOTAL MIRACLE ON THE PART OF GOD OUR ALMIGHTY HEAVENLY MOTHER  THAT OUR CHILDREN WERE EVEN BORN UNDER SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES AND THAT I CARRIED THEM UNDER SUCH AWFUL CIRCUMSTANCES.  THEY WERE MIRACULOUSLY QUICKLY DELIVERED AND CARRIED TO A SAFE LOCATION AND WE HAVE BEEN KEPT UP TO DATE ON THEIR DEVELOPMENT, WITH PHOTOGRAPHS AND STORIES. THAT IS ALL WE CAN SAY.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE A WORD OF OUR LOVE STORY -- ME AND JESUS' LOVE STORY -- BUT YOU WILL KNOW THAT IT IS VERY TRUE WHEN THE KINGDOM COMES IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE AND THE COMPASSIONATE PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING DESCENDS UPON PLANET EARTH AND HUMANITY.  WE -- ME AND JESUS -- HAVE A LOT OF HEALING AND MINISTERING AND TEACHING TO DO IN THE MEANTIME BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT OF HEALING TO DO ON PLANET EARTH RIGHT NOW AND THERE ARE A LOT OF BROKEN AND WOUNDED PEOPLE -- GOD'S TRUE PEOPLE -- SUFFERING AND OPPRESSED AND BROKEN-HEARTED RIGHT NOW.  JESUS AND I ARE HERE TO COMPASSIONATELY AND LOVINGLY  LIBERATE AND HEAL PEOPLE THROUGH OUR TEACHING AND WRITING AND BLOGGING AND FACE-TO-FACE MINISTERING AND THROUGH POWERFUL PRAYER AND HEALING TOUCH.   ANYWAY, IT'S AN AMAZING LOVE STORY -- WITH MUCH, MUCH MORE TO TELL EVEN YET AND IN THE FUTURE  -- AND WE DO EVERYTHING OUT OF OUR LOVE FOR HUMANITY AND THE AMAZING GRACE OF FAITH IN THE CROSS AND JESUS AS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR AND COMING KING. IN JESUS' HOLY, RIGHTEOUS, ALL-POWERFUL,  GLORIOUS, LOVING AND COMPASSIONATE NAME.  LOVE ALWAYS, DR. DIANE K. OLSON AND DR. JESUS C. NIELSEN